Prior to writing this, I had learned through social media that my recent college crush is single. So, I waited a couple days to ask her out or at least talk more personally with each other. Despite my feelings for her, I was put into the friend-zone. I was unhappy with myself and re-framed from saying something I would regret. Plus, why trash the friendship away over rejection? It is not worth it.
Fragile masculinity is something to accept and fix within myself. Just as anti-blackness in blerd culture, respectability politics is a shaming tactic some black nerds use to bully black women into dating outside of their preferences.
Rejection among black male circles are not talked about unless their relationships weighed more than their number rejections. Black hypermasculinity implies that black men are entitled to women's bodies, regardless if the feelings are not mutual.
Even in music among black male artists, not many songs come to mind of men accepting their faults or rejection. Even if acknowledge, it's in a sarcastic tone in which he plays her off as if she was nothing but a number.
I see many rappers proudly showing off their video vixens. It puts a very uneasy message that these men are emotionally invisible. They do not cry or feel sadden when they do not get the girl.
Yet in televised media, black nerds are rejected. They are given the anatomy to feet sadden, but also rejuvenation as they either get the girl of their dreams through patience, or finding someone who's a better match.
Personally, I have came to grips that being friendzoned is not a bad thing, and it's a growing and learning inner experience. It saves friendships, offers more time for self-reflection and it allows men to accept their faults.